Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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