too bad you live with your parents still
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
