On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
