Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
