you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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