well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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