I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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