youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
