I think I am morally bankrupt
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
