The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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