Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
