sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
