Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
