You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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