..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
