Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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