it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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