Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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