Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
there's paper in my vomit.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize