Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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