why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
