i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Houston, we have a blender
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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