Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
