All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
