Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Randomize
