Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
