she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize