I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
