New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize