Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
