We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
