Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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