No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
