you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's just like the Real World with babies
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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