i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
