On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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