Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
