I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
