Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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