Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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