he wants to bone in the snuggie
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
