Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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