mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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