great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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