it was like his penis was on wheels.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
