I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
