I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
home. puking in laundry basket.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
