i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
