Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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