I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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