If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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