whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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