Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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