I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
