you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
