accomplished twins. life is a go
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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