i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize