We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
