i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
