So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize