I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize