You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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