Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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